Message & Sound Files

AlienDVR Software

alienVision Client Software

Cheeky Monkeys

Laugh-Out-Loud messages great for when you're trying to add a bit of humorous to the daily grind.

MP3G001

No trespassing! Violators will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

MP3G001 from £7.50+vat

Voice Options
MP3G002

Warning to burglars! This house is guarded with a shotgun 3 days a week... guess which days!

MP3G002 from £7.50+vat

Voice Options
MP3G003

Welcome: all of our guests bring happiness: some by coming & some by leaving.

MP3G003 from £7.50+vat

Voice Options
MP3G004

Everyone brings joy to this office. Some when entering: some when leaving.

MP3G004 from £7.50+vat

Voice Options
MP3G005

Warning: private property! Keep out! Unless you're very good looking.

MP3G005 from £7.50+vat

Voice Options
MP3G006

Welcome to our public house! Please note: there is an invisible force field around the perimeter: once you enter you cannot leav

MP3G006 from £7.50+vat

Voice Options
MP3G007

Step away from the car.

MP3G007 from £7.50+vat

Voice Options
MP3G008

Step away from the caravan.

MP3G008 from £7.50+vat

Voice Options
MP3G009

Step away from the door.

MP3G009 from £7.50+vat

Voice Options
MP3G010

Step away from the pond.

MP3G010 from £7.50+vat

Voice Options
MP3G011

Please do not let the dog out: no matter what he says.

MP3G011 from £7.50+vat

Voice Options
MP3G012

No running: dive bombing or heavy petting.

MP3G012 from £7.50+vat

Voice Options

Bespoke messages

Bespoke Message

Have your own message recorded for your business or property in 3 easy steps.

  1. Create your message,
  2. Choose your favourite voice,
  3. We'll create it for you.

Click here for more info...

Free Downloads

A collection of free sound files for you to download.

Annoying Sounds

annoying Sounds

Deter hoodies from loitering or grown adults from danger zones with unpleasant sounds.

Fancy a Chuckle?

Fancy a chuckle?

Our humour category will have you laughing out loud. Bring a touch of humour to your home or business with a selection of messages from our LOL categories, Cheeky Monkey or Toilet Humour.

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